It happens that over the past few weeks a number of the blogs I read have touched on perception and attitude. It’s not an entirely new idea for me. I’ve written about it from time to time, even adding “attitude is everything” to my list of axioms.

“Keeping a journal has taught me that there is not so much new in your life as you sometimes think. When you re-read your journal you find out that your latest discovery is something you already found out five years ago. Still, it is true that one penetrates deeper and deeper into the same ideas and the same experiences.”
– Journal of Thomas Merton, The Sign of Jonas, July 10, 1949

One of the things I should say up front is that I’ve been working to compose this post in my head for quite a while already. I go back and forth between thinking I’ve found something profoundly important and suspecting that the ideas are simplistic at best and pollyannaish at worst. I think it’s worth it to me to explore the idea again.

I have for the past six months tried to actively change my perception. It may be the single most important thing I have done. That doesn’t sound overly simplistic, does it? The thing is, it has made a difference. Several differences, really.

I have been trying to reframe my thinking, to find the positive where I can. It’s easy for me – it always has been – to dwell on the negative. I think focusing on the darkness only makes it seem more dark. In the past, I would have argued that. I guess the truth is somewhere in between. There are times you have to focus on the dark, to deal with it, understand it, and let it go. But I don’t think you can live there for a long time. It starts to seem normal.

Gretchen: Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness?

Leo: The happiest people I know always focus on the positive things in their lives — they always appreciate what they have, see the silver lining on everything, and find the good in everyone.

The people who aren’t as happy focus on the negative things — they complain, they pity themselves, they think they can’t do something, and especially this: they criticize. They criticize others, and themselves. It always leads to unhappiness, for themselves and often those around them.
Interview with Leo Babauta at the Happiness Project

Progress, not perfection. I am happier now. There are still things that irritate me, frustrate me, get on my nerves, etc. I’m afraid that those things may be what I write about most often. I’m not sure that the message is getting through that I am gradually moving toward the positive. Irritations and frustrations are fairly short lived these days and I often have a sense of humor about them. I feel hope much of the time and, strangely, I think I’m beginning to accept myself. There is so much I want to do that I sometimes feel overwhelmed and lost over where to start and what to do.

I still struggle with inertia. Making changes in old behaviors is hard work and gradual change takes such a long time. It is still easy to get discouraged in the short term. On the other hand, I feel much more positive that I am going to eventually succeed. I’m not there yet. Part of me is still waiting – waiting to lose weight, change this, or do that – waiting for real life and happiness to begin. It’s a struggle to let go of that. It’ll come.

“Stop waiting for happiness. Happiness is right here, right now.”
-Leo Babauta, The Single Secret to Making 2009 Your Best Year Ever

And that, is a whole ‘nother post.