Remember my Happiness Project? Well, it’s Friday again and time to write a little about what I’ve been thinking.
Last week’s Zaxiom was ‘keep going.’ In some ways, I could write about the same axiom this week. It hasn’t been a really easy week emotionally. I spent a couple days (and nights) considering whether it was really worth it to keep trying.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
-Charles R. Swindoll
I think how you react to this idea depends a little bit on how you define “what happens to you.” Are you a determinist who thinks we have little control over what happens or are you someone who believes that we create our own reality? Either way, does that change how you think about your reactions to events? Are your reactions justified by events or do you make a choice about how you are going to react to something?
I think I’ve been feeling justified this week in feeling depressed and a little hopeless. It’s an old pattern of mine to want to just give up when life is less than perfect. It’s easy to wallow here and feel sorry for myself that others just don’t understand. It’s a little harder to choose to keep going anyway.
I get a pat on my back for keeping going. Holding on to the plan, to my hope, has been hard but is becoming a little easier as the week goes on. I can’t expect to be perfect – perfection, as Voltaire said, is the enemy of the good. So, even if I’ve not been perfect, I’ve been trying. And trying is not so easy when your attitude sucks. Choosing to move on, to not let the imperfect pull me down, helps me keep trying. Even when it takes a week to find that space.
This week’s Zaxiom: attitude is everything.
“Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.”
-Kahlil Gibran
5 Comments
Trying matters! At Christmas, the first time I was married, there were two embroidered stockings that I hung on the fireplace mantle for Santa to fill. One said, “Been Good!” (that was mine). The other said, “Been Trying!”. Both were filled with goodies by Christmas morning.
Oh yes I do agree. But, sometimes it just takes such a lot of energy to even try.
I love all your new thingys….
I agree with you both (and it’s so nice to see you!) that trying both matters and can take a lot of energy. I guess that’s why it seems easier to give up.
I remember a discussion about the famous Yoda statement, “Do or don’t do, there is no try.” (or something like that) It’s possible to view that one of several ways and for a long time, I saw it as “put everything into it or don’t bother trying” which is another one of those “I can’t be perfect so I won’t try” ideas.
In behaviorism (and dog training) we use successive approximations – rewarding the gradual learning and improvement of the desired behavior. That works – and that’s trying.
On bad days, it may be even more important for me to try. I learned this fun fact in physics – “a body at rest tends to stay at rest.” It’s a lot easier to sit here than to try.
I’m glad you ladies like the new smilie set. They are from Kolobok. Someday I’m going to learn illustrator enough to use the Kolobok smilie parts to make my own animated smilies! Especially since I can’t find a basic hug smilie there.
Years ago, when I was between husbands, I read an article that changed my life: “Anything Worth Doing Is Worth Doing Poorly.” Basically it said that you don’t have to do something perfectly to enjoy doing it – the worth is in the doing. I think that’s a lot like “stop trying and just do.”
I love the new Smilies, too. 
Being not perfect is hard – and it’s not like I’ve ever been perfect at anything! Previously if I had a bad day it’d be really hard to pull myself together and get on track again. But things are going pretty well. Perhaps it’s having people out there on both sides – those that expect me to do well and those that expect me to fail. I’m encouraged by one side and damned if I’ll give into the other.
It’s good to see you back, Eve. I’ve missed you!