I’m also a little behind in writing about my happiness project. I’m kind of considering changing it’s name – perhaps my Living project. I am pretty lazy, though, so it may just stay as it is. The point is, it’s not just about happiness, it’s about living. And it’s about learning, I suppose.
The last time I saw the shrink he commented that I was in a very philosophical mood. I suppose that was true, too. It still is. I find myself drawn to positive, thought provoking writing these days. I don’t necessarily agree with all of it but I like to think I’m learning things. Even the stuff I don’t agree with often points out my biases or weaknesses.
Another guest post at Zen Habits, this one by Alex Shalman, talked about living by the Socratic method. “The things he taught were so profound, close to truth, and universal, that one could live an awesome life today just by following his fundamental advice.”
It included these five quotes from Socrates to illustrate his teachings.
“Be as you wish to seem.” ~Socrates
“I know that I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.” ~Socrates
“Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel” ~Socrates
“He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have” ~Socrates
“The beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms” ~Socrates
There’s plenty to think about and potentially write about in just those five statements to keep me busy for weeks! They touch upon some of the things I’ve been thinking and writing – be yourself, expect more of yourself, live up to your gifts, do what matters. It seems to me, however, that I’ve left an important axiom off my list. “Keep learning, keep growing, never stop becoming” might be one way of summing it up.
When it comes down to it, I think each axiom is the most important one for me. They’re all a part of who I am becoming – trying to be the me I want to be. While weight loss is a part of who I want to be – it is more a stepping stone to other goals. Perhaps it’s more “what matters now” than “what matters” generally.
The things I think change, and hopefully grow, as I move along this journey. It’s hard at this time to put into words the person I want to be – healthy, confident, compassionate, caring, positive, seeking and genuine are all part of that person. I hope I have some of those traits but I’m far from complete. That’s okay, I have a lifetime to get there.
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Maybe the point of it all is the travel and hopefully we end with more than we started with. Be well Sweets.
I went over to the Zen Habits and that was a super article. The one that got me was “define what you want”. I’ve always found it much safer not to want anything, for then I won’t be disappointed. Or, maybe then I won’t have to expend any energy/effort in working toward something I want. Why bother? Why bother dipping that old cracked oar in the water and seeing if it can get me headed out of the swamp? Something’s bound to go wrong………blahblahblah. Do we forget that we are resilient? Adaptable? Flexible? (Those also sound like qualities that a perky new bra might have……)
For me, learning to be content was the key. I’m still working on it, but have come a long way. I guess it’s something that we work on all our lives.
Tom, I periodically think I’d like to travel the country – or the world – and just enjoy the trip with no where to go. The destination is the journey, right? I think it’d drive me nuts in real life. As quiet and sedentary as I can be when I’m moving, I’m moving toward something. I like the idea that the point is the journey itself, I really do. I’m just not sure I’m ever going to reach my peace with that. Where am I going – next?
MN – oh sis, once again we are clearly related. I’ve spent so long believing that it wasn’t safe to *want* anything. If you want something, it means you can’t have it, right? It’s still tremendously scary to me at times but I’ve more or less decided that if the old cracked oar falls apart, then I’ll just find another paddle. Cause one thing is for sure. The journey is not about sitting still.
Okay, maybe it is about sitting still, too. Sitting still can be part of the journey. As my friend Shoey used to say, “Don’t just do something, sit there.”
PC – learning to be content is a struggle. The thing is, in so many ways I am content. Then there are the things I am totally not content about. I think it’s the same dichotomy as “Accept yourself but expect more of yourself.” I am trying to be content — or at least accept that this is where I am, right here, right now. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have goals. My best effort is to be at relative peace with where I am while still moving toward where I want to be.
Sweets, I like to think that the point of life is the journey and to quote Jawaharlal Nehru “Life is like a game of cards. The hand that is dealt you represents determinism; the way you play it is free will,” and where ever our journey ends we can only hope we have done the best job possible in getting there. And your blog says to me that you are getting there.
Maybe so, Tom. But sometimes I’m just racing like mad to the presumed destination and when I get there – there’s always somewhere next to go. I think, in theory, it’s important to be “there” in the in between parts.
“Be as you wish to seem” speaks to me this morning. I have recently come to understand that much of what motivates my s-i-l is the desire to see himself a certain way. I’ve known others who wanted to appear a certain way to the world, but this is the first I’ve been aware of someone wishing to impress himself with his words and attitudes. (What he says doesn’t always relate to what he actually does, but he seems to need to hear the ‘right’ words.) How much easier and more rewarding is it to actually be what you want to believe yourself to be. It rather takes all the pretense and illusion out of our lives. No need to play games if you simply are what you want to believe you are.
Yup Eve, there is a big difference between acting like who you want people to believe you are (even yourself) and being who you want be. That can be a little hard to wrap my head around but I suppose it’s the difference between the people who act nice to you versus the people who really are.
If I want to be different, and I do – I have to really become that person, don’t I? Sometimes I’m not sure that I can.
But how does one jump the canyon from “acting” to “being”. This seems very much like the 12 step Program “dry drunk”. One is abstinent but still engaged in alcoholic behavior. Yet, they also say “fake it til you make it”
Oh geeze, I just looked up “self actualization” on Wikipedia and now my brain hamster is going a mile a minute on his little wheel – I better take a break!
I was thinking about that same thing earlier. How does “fake it til you make it” fit with really being who you want to seem to be? My best thought is that it’s a matter of intention.
Using the alcoholic as an example. It’s possible (depending on where you are in the process) to fake being sober. Drink in secret, make a show of not drinking around others, carefully control what you’re drinking, etc. But if you have to go to all that trouble, probably you aren’t really “sober,” right? I think fake it til you make it means to try to do everything you can to be that person you want to be, even when you feel it’s not possible. The ultimate goal is change, right? Not just covering up a problem.
Anyway, that’s my best guess. Will accept input!
Oh, and self-actualization is a headache-inducing concept.
When I was a teenager I learned the “As if principle” which is very much like fake it ’til you make it. The as if principle says if you want to be a straight-A student act the way a straight-A student acts. That means do all your assignments and turn them in on time, study for the tests, don’t procrastinate, etc. etc. You are taking on the habits of the person you want to become. That is entirely different from the person who pretends to be something he is not and never puts in the effort to become what he pretends to be.
PS – I forgot the reason for the name of this principle. You are advised to act AS IF you were the person you aspire to be. So, going back to the student, you ask yourself “How does a straight-A student act?” And then you act AS IF you were a straight-A student, doing all the things a straight-A student would do.
Now I’m going to go act AS IF I were concerned about my health and get some exercise and plan a nutritious lunch.
Exactly, Eve! Very well put and thank you!
Thanks Eve! “Taking on the habits” – perfect.