“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
~Oscar Wilde

Fridays are, right now, the day I think the most about what I’m going to write. Here is the process.

me: OMG, it’s Friday! What am I going to write about?

Then I look back over my week and try to find what I have learned. Which lessons have come up over and over again? What quotations or interesting thoughts have I added to my stash this week? What has got me thinking this week? Then I start to write and often I end up someplace I didn’t realize I was going.

This has been a quiet week. I’ve been feeling rather lonely, to be honest. The blog has been quiet. My life has been quiet. I wonder if I did the right thing by archiving the old blog and starting fresh. I look at Chickens and Eggs and wonder if I’m just fooling myself with that project. I’m thinking about my last appointment with the shrink and still feeling hurt that he doesn’t seem to hear me. I still haven’t decided if I will go back. I am second guessing myself. I wonder if I did this or that differently whether I would feel more accepted or whether I should feel differently about certain events in my life. I wonder where I’m going and whether I’m doing the things I need to do to get there. I’m not trusting in the journey but that’s a whole ‘nother topic.

I read, not so long ago, this quote from Helen Keller and I confess I could not really see how she could genuinely feel this way.

“I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times, but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers. The wind passes, and the flowers are content.”
~Helen Keller

Sometimes I’m very good at accepting my limitations and not being particularly sad about them. Other times, I give in to the feelings that certain limitations or challenges are unfair. I forget that nothing, good or bad, is permanent. I neglect my intentions to be grateful for all the good things that are in my life. And maybe most importantly, I do not accept that I am this person, in this life, at this moment.

Earlier this week at The Happiness Project, Gretchen wrote about the seeming paradoxes of life that can help you be happier. Number 1 really stood out to me.

Accept yourself, but expect more of yourself.

The second part of that statement is the part I have been missing all these years. I’ve always felt that accepting myself meant that I had to like who I am right now and not want to change that. Even when I’ve said essentially the same thing, I wasn’t grasping it emotionally.

I am me. I am the only me that will ever exist. I really do need to accept myself but that doesn’t mean that I can’t be a better me. That I can’t reach out to others and be the person I think I want to be. It won’t happen overnight – no instant gratification around here – but it can happen.

“My aim is to live up to my gifts.”
~Kyung-Wha Chung

So, this week’s Zaxioms are multiple.

Be yourself.
Expect more of yourself.
Live up to your gifts.